rumour: you’re the chum bucket i’m the krusty krab
its funny because people think im quiet but im just listening to everyones conversations and figuring out your weaknesses and ill use them against you to get further in life because i hate everyone
CAN’T. NOT. SHARE. THIS.
operator: 911, please hold.
me: stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
And All That Fun Stuff →
#hashtag? I prefer #hashbrown I prefer #hashslingingslasher
my headphones have reached that stage where you have to hold them off the empire state building at a 39.5 degree angle and chant an african prayer for both sides to work
I was hungry so I bought some animal crackers at...
Cashier guy: ok that will be 1.39
Me: uh can I get a bag too please?
Cashier guy: *gives me a weird look but hands me a small bag*
Me: thank you I think people might look at me funny if they see me walking around the mall with animal crackers you know
Cashier guy: what just be like "YEH I LIKE ANIMAL CRACKERS AND WHAT"
Cashier guy (as I'm leaving): DON'T LET THE HATERS BRING YOU DOWN YOU EAT THOSE ANIMAL CRACKERS GIRL